闷到...

last blog of e month,really had nothing much to blog abt.this is to blog juz for e sake of blogging..
can really noe hw bored im tdy..shit.

summary:
itz been a hell of a july for me.rollercoaster ride.things,matters,changes ard me come n goes so rapidly i don even have time to catch my breath.
so i juz hope august would be better.thou it might b e 'ghost month'...=P

火

in e end i got to postpone my test.haiz..
thks to e stupid instructors.wasting my time.
unexpected turn of events when i drive e nite before,totally different circuit.
how cld they bring me to e sch circuit for e 1st time n expect me to pass in 1 nite.
unbeliveable..
it was totally different frm wat i learn on e private circuit.
their reason?
e sch circuit is more expensive,so they cant bring me there to practise always..
crap..e private 1 is so much easier..e sch??damn difficult to drive.i didnt even practise there b4.
i cant take e risk n waste money on smthing tt i have never practise.
it will only juz spell failure.
i hav enough failures already.i dont wish to take another.
so this time i decided to wait another month for my test date.
practise e circuit till i noe it on e back of my hand b4 my test again.
i only wanted a gaurantee pass.1 time only.

but i still berated e instructors for wasting my time...
n shit..flu bug attack.=(

孤独黑夜

maybe it is tt difficult to let go.when u had really loved each other deeply.even there was tt little hope tt can be cling on,u would never try to let go.

but i know..
im really tired as well.

獨家記憶

忘記分開後的第幾天起
喜歡一個人　看下大雨沒聯絡　
孤單就像連鎖反應
想要快樂都沒力氣
雷雨世界像場災難電影
讓現在的我　可憐到底
對不起　誰也沒有時光機器
已經結束的　沒有商量的餘地
我希望你　是我獨家的記憶
擺在心底　不管別人說的多麼難聽
現在我擁有的事情
是你　是給我一半的愛情
我喜歡你　是我獨家的記憶
誰也不行　從我這個身體中拿走你
在我感情的封鎖區
有關於你　絕口不提　沒問題 沒限期

after watching e dark knight.it has been a inspiring movie.
in e movie,e hero was e protector of e city.upholding justice as a outlaw.
he lives in e shadow.silently doing wat he thinks was right.
he felt e pain when he lost his love.
in e end he chose to continue running in e darkness.doing wat he shld do.
for himself,for e ppl,for his love.

applied to my ownself.it was juz e same in my relationship with my love,my friends,my family.
in my life.i was always wondering my purpose in life.i cldnt find any directions
feeling lost smtimes.it was set backs after set backs in my relationship.
but i was nv broken.i came bk stronger n found out my purpose for living in this life.
thinking bk to e ppl i hav helped along e way.there so many ppl i cld name.
whether it was personal,family,finacially.i have helped these ppl.
tt was my purpose.
in e end,i might hav failed in my own relationship.in another way i gained alot.
seenin ppl being successful,happy in their lives was e pleasure.it givens me e strength to carry on.

突然看见我和你的照片

仿佛一切回到我的身边

我一直以为时间能够把一切都带走

不曾想过要回头

如果我们的爱还没到尽头

只想靠近你 我不想放你走

it was another obstacle i hav to overcome.
it was e devil's game tt i played,it shall b e devil i admitted defeat to.
i nv regretted chosing her to love.it was my choice.
things tt i hav promised to do,to help.i have done.time to return her freedom.
i juz hope she can be happy.tts all i wish for nw.
my heart is dead.but my love is not.untill e day it has truly let go,
i will juz be living alone in e dark once more.be myself.
nw im juz a silent protector as well.

random note:
my dear sister is smiling again.n im happy for her.coz she noes tt she doesnt need to worry so much anymore.tt person will always b there for her.
i noe they are worried for me.but im feeling really quite alrite.thks for e company anyway.i feel appreciated.
i wont have to worry for u ppl anymore.
thks sister n buddy.=)

心动心痛

黑夜渗透了想念

偷不走微光闪现的千种画面

我背着伤痛离开

孤单拖着记忆支离破碎

原以为不会改变眼泪

在脸颊上干枯失去知觉

我的心挣脱了爱 跟随着夕阳埋进了海洋

为什么相爱的人却又为爱而纷争

现实的翅膀扰乱了原本幸福的气氛

我有我的过错 我有我的疑惑

藏在面对面的折磨背后

为什么让爱躲进乌云密布的天空

随着风漂流在外 一点一点的散落

慢慢远离的梦 渐渐冷却冰封

心痛都当初相遇的心动

雨又在下了

看外面又湿了

我一直等着让屋里灯都亮着

这样伤心的睡了 这样压抑的醒了

想陪你坐着 想听你说着
想知道我值得 以为我们还爱着
把窗户都开着 风也是凉的
我一个人唱歌 声音也变成冷的

可该变的都变了

而孤独是什么 心冷是什么

情是什么 你是什么

我不要再想了我已经倦了

我不想再唱了我已经哭了

离开我 讓她自由

this was a random pic tt i took while i went swimming tdy.was lyin down on e poolside lookin up.e clear blue sky.e reflection of my feeling nw.so clear.

my thoughts are definitely clearer than e sky.i feel so refresh after e swim.it has been quite smtime tt i relaxed myself.e feeling was great.

i have done wat i cld,i hav said wat i needed to say.i dont really have to think abt it anymore.i had quite enough alr.juz let e matter rest ba.i need to get on with my life.

那女孩愛過我 讓她自由

讓她回憶 我的溫柔

她追求的夢曾是我

愛要懂放手 我懂

next week very impt! my driving test date..must pass!

caught on camera! e two zi lian girls:shan dan n qianna

=P lol..

决定,抉择,选择

"虽然收敛了许多的情感

还是泄露了我的不安

于是你开始冷淡

我也开始问自己该怎么办

如果你知道我的遗憾

千万不要再不以为然

我的生活已经混乱

到处漂流却始终靠不了岸

这是我最后最美最真最心碎的留言

爱我好吗?

我愿意让伤心再来一遍

只要你留一个位置给我

哪怕是在你心中最容易被忽略的角落"

我要的其实很简单
就是简单的爱罢了

一直很安静

空荡的街景

想找个人放感情

作这种决定

是寂寞与我为邻

我们的爱情

像你路过的风景一直在进行

脚步却从来不会为我而停

你说爱像云 要自在飘浮才美丽

我终于相信分手的理由 有时候很动听

给你的爱一直很安静

来交换你偶尔给的关心

明明是三个人的电影

我却始终不能有姓名

给你的爱一直很安静

我从一开始就下定决心

以为自己要的是曾经

却发现爱一定要有回应

给你的爱一直很安静

除了泪在我的脸上任性

原来缘分是用来说明

你突然不爱我这件事情

那女孩愛過我

面對面 我和你只隔了一步遠
距離讓妳佔滿我視線 再見可能是永遠
在人群裡面 等候離別的人紅著雙眼
載著感傷的飛機表面 和幸福逆向奮力向前 多刺眼
冷風中 冰冷的手藏在口袋中
你曾經填滿我的手
現在好空洞 你的手 變成風
那女孩愛過我 讓她自由
讓她回憶 我的溫柔
她追求的夢曾是我
愛要懂放手 我懂
你愛過我 像煙火 炫爛過 我的夢
殘留的煙火散落著
我還在貪戀 你的臉 你的手
我愛的你 好溫馨
等待著你 不想放棄
自由是我能給你的愛情
你擁有我的心 飛出去

可能,如果

到最后我也只不过是一个普通人
我的心也是脆弱的

im juz human after all

i didnt slp e whole nite.
cldnt slp at all.
questions flooded my mind.
e night silence was killing me inside.
e torture was unendurable.
why she did this to me?
why im feeling so hurt?
was it bcoz i did smthing wrong?
mayb it was my fault..

i had nv walk her to her sch before.
i was nv introduced to her friends as her boyfriend before
i tried to keep our distance apart.
mayb becoz she was afraid to let too many ppl noe n it wld blow our cover.
and her parents might find out.
i didnt mind n i didnt thought much.
i juz wanna protect her,protect e love btw us.

mayb becoz i cldnt spent time with her,
she was alone,she needed smone else to lean on.
n tt person happens to be there for her.
i wish she was nt seen.
so i wouldnt know.
i wouldnt be in such pain nw.

i took 3shots of vodka n down it.
i still cldnt slp.
mayb work cld drain my mind.
juz tired myself out.
mayb i would feel better.

im going to work.

愛情轉移

她们的难过,悲伤,幸福,快乐
都来自一个男人

"徘徊过多少橱窗 住过多少旅馆
才会觉得分离也并不冤枉
感情是用来浏览 还是用来珍藏
好让日子天天都过得难忘

熬过了多久患难 湿了多长眼眶
才能知道伤感是爱的遗产
流浪几张双人床 换过几次信仰
才让戒指义无返顾的交换

烛光照亮了晚餐 照不出个答案
恋爱不是温馨的请客吃饭
床单上扑满花瓣 拥抱让它成长
太拥挤就开到了别的土壤

感情需要人接班 接近换来期望
期望带来失望的恶性循环
短暂的总是浪漫 漫长总会不满
烧完美好青春换一个老伴

把一个人的温暖转移到另一个的胸膛
让上次犯的错反省出梦想
每个人都是这样 享受过提心吊胆
才拒绝做爱情待罪的羔羊
回忆是捉不到的月光握紧就变黑暗
让虚假的背影消失于晴朗
阳光在身上流转 等所有业障被原谅
爱情不停站 想开往地老天荒 需要多勇敢
你不要失望 荡气回肠 是为了最美的平凡"

她 想努力式着放手

她 却开始怀疑自己
她们都害怕面对将来的一切
爱情是选择 而不是能转移的东西

要如何才能帮她们打开心房
我也不知道该怎么做才对

烂

一烂还有一烂烂 烂中还有烂中烂

10 cups of coffee.

tts e amount of caffine i hav taken in at mct function.rotten day.was doing nothing but rot.

10am coffee break,
12pm lunch break,
2pm coffee break,
4pm coffee break,
7pm coffee break
8.30pm coffee break..

break until i aso gonna break...wat e hell.?

e boredom was definitely killing me for e past 2 days.

愛情樹

我不要你在我身边
却看着蓝天 不看我的脸
我但愿你快乐的飞
将来要相爱 都还有时间
风开始在吹 孤独好直接
爱最苦的是不能相依偎
然而我会等着你 回来的季节
我的爱情是一棵树
永远不会离开一步
风雪多残酷 我想我挺得住
我的生命是一棵树
只愿成为你的归宿 我义无反顾
守护你是最大的幸福
最深的温柔是成全
我张开双臂 任凭你来回
最痛的时候就思念
扎了根的心 不可能撤退
我义无反顾 从日落到日出
我的爱情是一棵树 永远不会离开一步
风雪多残酷 我想我挺得住
我的生命是一棵树
只愿成为你的归宿 我义无反顾
守护你是最大的幸福

In health,we will share our lives together,
In sickness,i will nurse u back to health,
In sadness,i will bring you joy,
In happiness,i will share it with you,
In poverty,i will let our love grow rich,
In wealth,i will not let our love become poor.


With this vow,it binds our love.


itz juz us.me n you.

明天过后

你问我明天过后会如何
世界若毁灭我们又怎么了
我笑了电影情节太唬人
只有单纯的你相信着
你问我明天过后会如何
冰天雪地里我们怎么活着
我笑了 笑你太傻又太笨
但自己心中却决定了
我相信抱着 你的手就温暖了
睡着或醒着我的手为你加温
就算明天崩塌又如何
我们手握着
外面天再冷全都由我负责
也许我有时太傻太呆又太闷
甜言蜜语不是我的风格
但请相信
真心从来不会少一分
多嘴的人恋爱从不会认真
我相信抱着 你的手就温暖了
睡着或醒着我的手为你加温
就算明天崩塌又如何
我们手握着
外面天再冷
全都由我负责
这世界再冷 你的心不会冷

铁.打.的

已经60个小时没睡了,身体的极限好像要到了
但是好奇怪 ,我一点都不累

26岁的我 ,还能撑多久呢?


妹没事了 暂时松了一口气
希望她做的决定是对的
只要不被再一次受到伤害
我会替她开心

小时候一直都想有个妹妹


it was a regret.being e youngest in e family.i nv had a sibling tts close to my age.
i was a accident.coz i only got a older brother,whos 10yrs older than me.im definitely wasnt planned.
hes like more or less like a fatherly figure to me rather than a sibling.
i always wanted to be a big brother to a younger sis.
but my mum wasnt planning another.

it was always late better than never.

god bestowed me a sister.


a sister who i share laughter with,
a sister who i solve problems with,
a sister who i talk nonsense with,
a sister who nv fail to brighten up my day,
a sister who encourages me when im down n out,
a sister who buys me coffee n redbull when im tired,
a sister who hits my back so hard so tat i cld b awake,
a sister who calls me brother.


thou we are nt related nor connected by blood,but smhow we understood each other.

she's a god-sent gift.

now,i have to hand over her care to him
frm nw onwards,her care is in his trust n responsibilities
i will nt share or solve her problems anymore coz this is e guy who shall be responsible nw.
he has e responsibility to bring her happiness.
my only hope nw is she wld be loved n smiled like e very 1st time we met.coz she deserved it.

虽然她做了决定
但是还是害怕伤害另一个她
因为知道她还在受伤

该让妹妹长大了
珍惜彼此

加油吧! 妹

傻瓜

其實他做的壞事我們都懂

沒有什麼不同 眼光閃爍 曖昧流動

閉上眼當作聽說 其實別人的招數我們都懂

沒有什麼不同 故作軟弱 撒嬌害羞

只是有一點彆扭 傻瓜也許單純地懂

愛得沒那麼做作 愛上了我不保留

傻瓜 我們都一樣 被愛情傷了又傷

相信這個他不一樣 卻又再一次受傷

傻瓜 我們都一樣 受了傷卻不投降

相信付出會有代價 代價只是一句傻瓜

我们的爱

itz a messy world.
Definitely.

been ard mandarin for 11mths now.itz almost going to be a year soon.times really passed quickly.i have seen e changes,ppl coming and going.in service,in management.i have met so many ppl here over e past mths.make new friends,new buddies.itz been lots of ups n downs.
n of course,e relationship btw each n one of us.

for e past few mths,i hv been mentor,friend,buddy,cousellor,listener,advisor to quite a few ppl.
itz not becoz im a love guru or some love doctor.im definitely not 1.i definitely not been in a longer relationship compared to most ppl.itz juz tt i older n slightly more matured than most of them.most of e stuff i shared with them was past experiences.i been thru lots more than most of them.i hav seen more than most of them as they are still in their teenage years.
itz part n parcel of growing up.

i cant teach them.i cant tell them wat to do.i only give them advises,shared wif them expericences.itz a matter of how much they could take in n carefully listen to wat i said to them.
different ppl have different ways of dealing with their relationship.theres no same method nor theres any booklet teaching u e ways of handling them.i hope n wished e best for them coz to me they are really a bunch of great ppl who deserves to be loved.

i listen hard to wat they tol me.

"现在就把他交给你了" - 你真的已经放弃他了吗?

"我ok的,我们还是朋友" - 真的那么潇洒说忘就忘吗?

"真的能信她吗" - 爱的深就会伤的更深

"我会慢慢式着离开他"- 时间能疗伤,但需要一段日子

they hav hidden alot within them.itz juz defensive words to protect themselves.
smtimes i wish i do not noe so much.life will be much easier.but than again tts not e case always.
these ppl had trusted me with their hearts.i juz have to try my best n help them in watever ways i can.
coz i loved these ppl n i would do anything to protect them.

*Yawn*getting tired finally..time to hibernate again.
haiz..Driving lesson tml.i booked a hell lot this mth coz my test date is coming up.
getting nervous.
only 1 try...i will make it.=D

再一次

Mandarin court
Vip function
8 tables


Back to work finally.was really restless as i been really slpin alot since coming back frm camp.luckily i was in a function which doesnt require me to do a hell lot.
im janet's personal runner for today.just today only.lol =D

ok,initially i shldnt be here in e 1st place,thks to mr chew i get to work.i thought he had soughted things out with sandra.well,i guess it still hard to face each other at this moment.it didnt matter where i work anyway.they would still run into each other 1 day.doesnt have to be here,it could be anywhere.i had a short conversation with them respectively.both are my friends,i juz wish e best for both of them.

havent been talking much with cher for e last few days as i was in-camp.she sent me a sms in e afternoon asking whether i was working today.i replied n it was silent till nw.im nt sure whether she had smthing if she needed to talk to me.i juz sent her another sms asking if she was alrite.now i juz have to wait for her reply...

read this some where,but i forgot where was it.

人的一生会遇上的四个人
第一个是自己
第二个是你最爱的人，
第三个是最爱你的人，
第四个是共度一生的人.

但很悲哀的，在现实生活中，
这三个人通常不是同一；
你最爱的，往往没有选择你；
最爱你的，往往不是你最爱；
而最长久的，偏偏不是你最爱也不是最爱你的，
只是在最适合的时间出现的那个人。。。

在对的时间，遇见错的人，是一场心伤
在错的时间，遇见对的人，是一阵叹息
在对的时间，遇见对的人，是一生幸福
在错的时间，遇见错的人，是一段荒唐 ~
你，会是别人生命中的第几个人呢？
茫茫人海中...你遇见了谁？谁又遇见了你？

绿色北极熊

Back frm 5 days of reservist.upon reaching hm was really great but at e same time really tired as well.it was not tt i didnt hav any rest in camp or e training draining me out.itz tt im back to reality once again.facing e problems once more tt i had tried so hard to get away frm.

5 days pass really fast..

1st day of camp when bookin in was tired.i remb i woke up ard 4+am in e wee morning of monday.was catching a few glimps of e final btw spain n germany.my eyes was opening n closing most of e time.e only scence i remb was spain players celebrating.n i knew they won euro08.
i dragged my army stuff to e bus stop n waited for my campmate whu staying nearby to book in together.cab in to camp n we in process late due to heavy traffic.next we went to our rooms n did our routine admin wrk.theres was nothing much on e 1st day as i totally slept for much of e day.

2nd day we begin our training schedule for this ICT.revised weapons system n we went to did our IMT shoot simulator.this was to prepare for our actual live range e next day.happy to say i was still as accurate as before.=D
we return to camp n did a simulated rundown for e live shoot,as this time we are doing it on a team effort rather than a individual.

3rd day.woke up at 5am.we draw our weapons,had breakfast n moved out to our hunting ground.e forest.
headed to e live range n had our day shoot.e 1st round we did a dry run with blanks.everything was smooth.then came our live zeroing shoot with real bullets.i havent handle these for like years.given 10 rounds to hit my target.
my 1st shot was a total mess.i missed
then e 2nd..missed again.n e 3rd missed..shit.
i miss all my 10 rounds..wat e hell.i totally cld not find my aiming point.i did a reshoot n this time i hit ony 2 shots..smthing was very wrong n my commander ask me to go again.
he tol me to concentrate n he help me sight my target.this time it was better.i hit 8 out of 10.he ask me to remb my aiming point n juz keep hitting it.
went for e actual rundown shoot.i hit a score 23/30 shots.my team did well.we juz needed to maintain for e nite n we would be awarded marksmanship.
nite came n we went in.i cld nt see my target at all as e darkness surround my target board.i cld only depend on my same aiming point n my gut feeling.shoot over n i hit a full score..30/30!!
i cldnt believe it when they tol me coz i was e 1st to hit a full score at nite.i was delighted but my team cld only pass,we juz missed out on a few shots to get marksman.sad.
but then i kept my own individual marksman as i proved i cld still shoot after all these yrs..lol

4th day.we basically hibernated till late afternoon.preparing for our annual ippt test.i was quite worried as i haven been exercising regularly.my fitness level isnt on e highest.e 4 stations were not a prob as i get e max points given.e last station was my biggest fear.2.4km run.i haven been running for e last yr.i started e run slow n gradually gain pace.after e 4th round i was really losing stamina.but i tried to maintain pace.after my 6th round e system hanged n cld nt capture my timing.i tot i had failed but e officers retified e prob n check my timing.i passed with a silver award.haha..total relieved.i proved once again i still maintained my fitness after all this yrs of indulging in food n lack of exercising.but i not doing it over again as e running part took alot out of me n i need to regain exercising again.

5th day.waiting for out processing.did e usual admin.booked out.back to e civil world again.

reaching hm was bad.problems hit me instantly as my mum complained.i need to plan out my working schedule.book my driving lessons.my phone was ringing non stop.i cld nt have a single moment of peace at all.i need to hibernate.

next obstacle,clearing my driving tp this month.time to end this.