文华搁

Mandarin Court
Wedding Dinner
42 tables
1 Bridal
2 Vips
3 Servers
1 Runner

Setup started 11am,4 staffs
Closed Setup 5.30pm
Reported 6pm

never ever try doing setup again with only 2hrs of slp..darn tired.
yet i went kbox with e guys n gals after work..where did i find tt extra energy?!?
once more i gonna do setup again later with limited or no slp at all..cui.

Mr David Ho is enlisting for NS soon.another member frm e mandarin family leaving.
but we all do wish him good luck.

As for me,next week in-camp,range.going to shoot dinosaur..lol

Countdown: 1 day more to camp

深夜,一个我

waiting for e spain v russia match to start.
e night is really long.
i cldnt do anything but wait.
theres was nothing on tv to watch as i switch channels.
i cldnt find e mood to read
cher went to slp after she offline
agnes is online but shes studying,shldnt disturb her this moment
actually i don wanna tok to anyone also
i decided to go outside for awhile to keep myself awake
e breeze blowing on my face is refreshing
e only sounds i hear is e vehicles passing by e highway one by one
itz been smtime tt i hav been left so alone.
i been thinking thru alot of stuff.
trying nt to let my thoughts run wild.
i needed smthing to do nw to distract myself.
i walked bk into my hse,grab my pack n opened e cabinet

点了一只烟 拿着一杯白酒
一口一口的抽着 一点一点的喝着
看着外面的夜空觉得好平静
但是心里却好烦

it has been really smtime tt i lighted up.wasnt really in e mood.but when i opened my cabinet n saw e bottle of chardonnay standing there,i cldnt help it n open it to drink.im nt drowning myself in sorrow or anything.i juz wanted to find smthing to calm myself.

开着手机的mp3 听着里面的歌曲
听着范瑋琪的 "到不了"

你眼睛会笑

弯成一条桥

终点却是我永远到不了

感觉你来到 是风的呼啸

思念像苦药 竟如此难熬

每分每秒 我找不到 我到不了

你所谓的将来的美好

我什麽都不要

知不知道

若你懂我这一秒

我想看到 我在寻找

那所谓的爱情的美好

我紧紧的依靠 紧谨守牢

不敢漏掉一丝一毫

愿你看到

match is starting soon,im getting hungry again.
cup noodles for e 3rd nite running.

Countdown: 2 days more to camp

无形的压力

The air was stiff..really hard to breathe..

taking a sip of my coffee,i carefully listened to e words of Mr Chan,our lawyer.
with my mum n brother in presence.he read out e contents of e letter my dad has sent.hes filing a suit against us.which in terms means,hes suing my mum my family.
my family is going thru a transition.a major one.

i have forseen it coming in e past few weeks.i noe itz gonna happen sooner or later.
since a young age,i nv had e love of a dad.he left us,my family a long time ago.i treat him as good as dead in my heart.he was nothing but trouble.all he gave was grief n hurt.i would nv forget neither forgive wat he did.if not for him i cld be a happier kid n hav a happier childhood.i remb seeing kids being held by their dad's hands n playing together,to me it seens all so far frm me.itz nothing but envy.e happiness n family bond i craved was destroyed by him singlehandedly.
i hated him,i really do.but yet,i hav to thk him,for making me a better person,making me more independent than anyone else,n stronger in facing problems n live a life no one else cld imagine.

i remb giving my savings,selling of our house to help pay off his debts.moving abt to avoid his debtors.my bro helping him to pay off loansharks,my mum paying off e money he loan frm relatives.all these i would nv forget.ever..i tot for e past few years i worked hard n managed to save enough n get a roof for my mum n myself,e troubles would be gone.but yet he comes back to haunt us once more.i noe his purpose,he wants a piece of e property.
a leopard would nv change his spots.i was too naive..so was my brother.who saved his life a few yrs bk when he suffered a life threatening stroke.he saved him,hoping he would changed his ways frm a new lease of life.we were too foolish.

after listening to e lawyer,i noe a courtsuit is inevitable if we were to countersue.itz gonna be complicated.my brother decided tt we need to seriously discuss e matter 1st.
it will be a long war.mentally n finacially straining.but i hav to protect my family frm this devil.im prepared to face it. Alone..

on msn:4.56pm
edward-said:
u still in sch mah?
cheryl-said:
yea

i stopped n cldnt continue typing..
i wanted to tell cher.she noes abit abt watz going on.i was for a moment lost.but then i shldnt drag her into e picture,putting her thru my problems.mayb itz her msn nick tt tol me smthing
"a moment like this...you juz don understand"
it will be difficult for anyone else to understand,at this moment.

whatever gonna happen,e outcome,i noe it will change my life again.itz another challenge.

要是有一天我一无所有
你是否会留在我身边支持我

跟我重新来过呢?

那一瞥　人潮如海的街

和你擦身而过 有些恍神一再回头

你发现　我的心不在焉

我却无法解释是谁

乱了我生活

该怎么做才能把回忆都删除

那错过的幸福　我像跌入迷雾

遇见你有种似曾相识的感觉

仿佛有种同样感受在你的眼底

能不能让我们再相遇

能不能让我再次认识你

似曾相识有如游戏

那一瞥　陷入你的世界却

忘了要往哪里走

你感觉 我的心看不见

我该怎么解释

是你我看见同样感受在你眼底

是否在前世我们有一段过去

能不能这次改变命运

能不能这次让我真的爱你

还是往事别再提起　

是否在前世我们有一段过去

能不能帮我把你忘记

能不能帮我停下对你追寻

或许我能不再想你

累了

Horoscope for June 26, 2008

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22)

The problems you had with some feisty coworkers are gone for now, and there is a much lighter mood at work -- it's finally time to exhale. Your emotions have been caught up in a battle that wasn't yours to fight, although the people whose defense you came to really appreciated you sticking your neck out like that. Now it's time to put your focus back where it belongs: On your work. After this brief distraction, you'll find work more rewarding than ever.

i juz happen to read it.
rewarding??so far it hasnt been rewarding.itz been tiring.been workin ot at marina till 2.30am for e past 2 days.e feeling juz wasnt e same as meritus.e ppl are so unfamiliar,unfriendly,unfun n smtime,juz quite rude.i missed eddies'ranting all of sudden.itz weird,i shld b happy tt i dont heard my name being called here so often.but yet i noe they are secretly watching me.tt makes me feel even more uneasy.coz im being observed.don like tt feeling.im lookin forward to friday.back to meritus again.getting rant again.

oh..i been eating instant cup noodles for e past 2 nites..for supper.wat e hell?!?

Countdown: 3 days more to camp

承受,寂寞,难过

date:21 june 2008 saturday
function:wedding dinner
venue:ballroom
captains in charge:eddie,scott,azahari

vip runner:sijie
vip table:juliana
bridal table:edward?? wat e hell...

nobody ask a vip runner be a bridal table server de lar!!especially when u got both juliana n enci working..stupid eddie,he loved me too much.

itz been a very long time tt i have started work at 11am for set up.very long time indeed with e amount of functions goin on at meritus.was very tired,didnt slept much e nite before.was changing hamham's stuff n playing with him.he was running around my bed as cher was sound asleep.after senting cher to sch for her cheerleading practice in e morn,i headed straight for work with limited amount of slp.luckily thks to agnes's red bull,managed to hold out for e nite.

while on e way to wrk,e sudden thought of zhonghua came across my mind.called me e very nite i was having supper with cher n agnes.hes really goin thru a tough period nw n really understand hw he felt.he trusted me n shared with me his problems lately.i been advising him to relax himself n don be so tense up.hes been thinking too much lately.giving himself too much stress over his relationship.we had a long conversation n e words he told me was really worrying.

我真的受不了，真的能相信她吗?

till this point i really was speechless,i cant advise him on this all of a sudden.i only could tell him try to not lose control of himself totally.i really dont wan him to collapse.im alr worried for sis,so dont really wish e same thing happen to 1 of my bros.it reminded me:

那晚我好像看见她的眼中有泪水
或许是我看错了

it might be a mistake.im nt sure.tt probed me to sent her a sms e nx morn.

让它结束吧

希望她听懂我的意思

but then it was of all functions,she bumps into him once again tt nite.she needed a distraction but all of us are nt with her.e loniness shes facing is frightening.i know she cldnt even breathe e same air in e same space,same surrounding.let alone facing him once more,alone. juz hoped she remembered wat i tol her.

不要让一个不爱你的他，毁了你的人生
因为你生命中还有很多爱你的人，关心你的人

都在你背后支持着你，爱护你，保护你

theres a song by 李聖傑 - 擦肩而過,tt goes like this:

你听我说

你不要这么做

你不要看着我

说你已经知道怎么做

你很难受

我愿意陪你一起承受

只要你不怕痛

再多坎坷我都陪你走

他不会是个好男人

也不会是个好情人

你对我说我们只是擦肩而过

好的男人有那么多

少了他的日子也能过

我不会再让你寂寞

也不会让你更难过

你听我说

要好好学着去生活

就算未来有多少错

至少还有我的问候

我的温柔陪你度过

let him be juz a passerby in ur life.

as a friend,a brother she looks up to,tts e least i cld do for her.being supportive whenever she needs.

as for myself..its gonna be a busy week ahead.time is counting down.my time for cher will be limited as well.itz gonna be a long long week

Quote:
若彼此真心相愛 就能天長地久 不完美永遠最美 因為棲美 才能時時刻刻珍惜現有的愛

无聊

totally lame movie...if you liked meet e spartans.you would like this show as well.
can juz laugh at all e cheap jokes.

total crap..

讓

多想要找到一絲掙扎在你臉上
可是你美得冷得淡得像月亮
等著你的那輛車 燈閃一下
像催你草草斷了我們的過往
約好要每年回到初擁吻的地方
劃一個記號寫下相戀的感想
等明年我剩一個人 坐在堤防
改唱首什麼歌來紀念愛的傻
讓你逃亡 又讓你回航
我讓你依賴 我也讓你倔強
只要你微笑 帶一點感動的淚光
我就能夠得到再給的力量
我讓你飛翔 又讓你說謊
我讓你苛求 我也讓你奢望
我還以為愛 就是要體貼的退讓
我們一起蓋的羅馬 你卻跟他拆了城牆
踩過我用摯愛建築的天堂
多少日子蓋的羅馬 你用一夜拆了城牆
踩碎我曾讓你棲息的胸膛

回来了,熟悉

Finally back to work,to a place im so farmilar with.e tigers are back.but they pangseh me..all wrk ballroom..darn..

im still stuck at bel.itz been like ages i been walking up to 6 floor and work.e usual wedding dinner function,im back to wrking vip runner after doing tbls for e last few days.e farmilar preparation.only this time,i wrkin with juliana.e very 1st time im wrking wif her on vip.


it was weird coz i have hardly wrk with other vip servers than e usual ppl.no xiaoshi,no agnes n nt even cheryl by my side tis time.it bought back memories tt when i 1st run for vip.e 1st time i wrk with qianna n xiaoshi.it seems like time had pass so quickly n now they are both gone searching their own futures.n nw i wrking with someone new to me.but wat e heck..most impt shes nt a newbie.lol..shes e most experienced servers around mandarin.n this is e 1st time a vip server feed food to a runner.she goes straight to e top of my list of fav vip servers.haha..

Blacklisted Vip Servers

1. Grace (if she uses her bum to bump me again,i make sure i kicked it all e way to mars)
2. Jennifer (always missing in action..where e hell she always disappear to anyway??)
3. Yan bing (nobody..n i mean nobody order me around.especially TCC.)
4. Huiling (nobody..n i mean nobody bullys a runner like she do..come report 8.30pm..wat e hell??..)
5. Hakim (erm..ok.hes nt a server..juz a captain i backlisted.another MIA personnel.)

All time Fav Vip Servers

1. Juliana ( with her around,i would nv go hungry ever)
2. Qianna ( i can concentrate on running n slacking,coz she will fight for e tray)
3. Xiaoshi ( mrs lim..免死金牌)
4. Cheryl (eh..she has to be here so i cld still be alive,shes my gf,do i need to explain more?)
5. Agnes (mobile minimart..always gt sweets n choco.enough said.sweets anyone?)

when can i go back to ballroom??no more bel no more bel no more bel no more bel!!

静,心

today was really a bad day working at act 1.it wasnt e best of weddings for e couple.
complains made:

1. champagne fountain collapsed e before solemnisation starts.camera man accidentally step on e lace.
2. mic wasnt working during solemnisation
3. barman dropped crates of high-ball glasses which caused alot of din
4. there was leaking above e guest table
5. uninvited trouble.

it was juz a bad nite for wilson.dealing with e groom as well with tcc staff showing him attitude.

meanwhile before function starts,ZH approached me,this was e 1st time he look so serious.he say theres smthing he needs my advice.taken aback,he asked me if i had ever quarrel with cher before.tt caught me thinking.so far no was my ans.he was surprised.i was curious n i probed on, does he hav a prob with his gf.he asked me this:

ZH: i asked if she was meetin her friend,she said no,then she msg sm1, i asked her who she is smsing,she juz said u dont hav e right to noe.am i wrong to ask?

me: girls r much more sensitive.they will think tt u don trust her.tt u feel suspicious of her.

ZH: but u wont feel good if u were in my shoes.u can tolerate if cher does this?wont u ask her?

me: i dont restrict her,i gave her all e freedom she needs.i noe shes always smsing her friends.but i dont ask.if i do then a quarrel is unavoidable becoz she wld tink u dont trust her.i rather turn a blind eye coz it wld b stupid to start a quarrel over this.i juz need to tel myself tt i nv did anything wrong behind her n luv her with my heart,to trust her.simple as tt.if u say im don worry or feel jealous at all than u r wrong.any normal guy wld feel jealous,i wont feel good,im no diff.bt i chose 2 hide it.e diff btw u n ur gf n btw me n cher is age.u 2 r of e same age n u must learn to communicate,listen n trust another if u truely love e other party.for me coz im older than her,i hav to give in,she still young,n hav e right to make n noe more friends.this was e right i gave her before we were 2gether.e right to chose as i might nt be e one.if u love tt person with ur heart,u wish for tt person happiness.tts my way of loving her.

ZH: wah..u very good n ur tolerance level very high,this i mus learn frm u.

learn?..i laughed in my heart.it was tough for me to tell him,if u been thru wat i been thru before,u wouldnt actually learn frm me.im a aloof person when i was young.i didnt made many friends before till i attended sec sch to army.i was much quite a loner.im a person wif few words,but i gained this ability in observing ppl n listening to ppl.but i never quite opened myself till i met "her" a few years back.

她曾经是我最爱的人 是她教会我如何去爱
但她也是伤我最深的人 她背叛了我对她的爱

明知道她爱别人
分手时却对我说:
"不要离开我,我爱你"
为什么不让我平静的离开
还要深深的在我的心 捅一刀
但我转身离开时 你流泪
不是舍不得我
而是你舍不得多一个爱你的人
你好自私

我是多余的

till 2day she nv knew e reason why i broke up wif her.i nv explained.coz i silently walk away,frm her life.and frm my heart.

tt was hw i learnt.till nw when i tink back,e hugs n kisses tt used to belong to me,she gave to another right before my eyes.e hurt is still fresh.it seems e wound nv healed.but i dont hate her.coz i nv learnt to hate.she stab me in e heart with her words.becoz her love can b shared by another man.she betrayed my love yet i didnt blame her,i chose to walk away with my pride.i blamed myself rather than her.tts e way i chose to love.it would nv changed.even till nw.

i tol cher before we started,she has e choice to regret.

要是有一天你后悔
跟我说一声就行了
我不会问理由让你离开
因为我真的希望你幸福快乐
这就是我爱你的方式

it was a promise i made.n she made hers telling me she wont regret.but i noe there so much obstacles infront of us.itz a test to our relationship,my tolerance.my patience.i understand her difficulties.i dont wish to add to her difficulties.i nv pressurise her,giving all e freedom n trust to her.i understand hw protective her parents are.it might b a disaster if her parents found out abt us.i learnt to stay away frm her in e open.to avoid running into any1 she knew.i dont hold her hand,i sit apart,i stand apart.itz tough but i learnt.to protect our love.i hav nothing but patience,patience to wait.till when shes ready.coz i noe she has me,whenever she holds my hand.e way she looks at me.im in her heart.

爱情
是人生最难的一堂课 不是每一个人都能理解的

你已经比我幸福
你可以选择爱或不爱我

而我只能选择爱或更爱你

死神

真的受伤了

till nw i can still clearly remb wat happened last nite.e brush with death was so close.

was leaving with heavy steps.saw a cab stop rite beside me.it seems to ask me to board n go home.

i boarded e cab at boat quay 3.18am.

cabby:when to sir?

me:toa payoh plz.

cabby:u want to go by which way?

me:anyway,juz get me there..fast (i wasnt too friendly)

cabby:go by cte can?

me.yes..juz go uncle.. (i juz wanted to leave e area n go
home)

e cabby keep on talking,i wasnt listening,my mind wasnt payin attention to his conversation.i juz look at my handphone.

i was on my way home.e driver was speedin n i dont really understand watz e rush.anyway i didnt cared,my mood wasnt on his speed meter.as long he sent me home,tts alrite.i was in deep thoughts.i held on tight to my handphone looking at my sms.i didnt noe wat i wanted reply.all i remb is when i looked up i saw this vehicle infront of us,it started to swerve to one side n it seems e driver lost control of his car.

he hit e E-BRAKE suddenly.

my cabby jammed his...

my cabby steer his vehicle left n managed to avoid a head on collision..but he still collided with e vehicle left rear.wind screen cracked n e cabby was shocked as he sat in his seat,seat belt protected.e impact was still big enough to pull my body forward as i wasnt with seat belt.i reacted quickly n use my left hand to absorb e impact n prevented myself frm being thrown to e front.all i remb was whole 56kg of me crashing into my left hand.i still gt hit on my forehead by e front seat head rest.e impact was quick.,i drop back to my seat after e impact.opened e door n staggered out.

i felt giddy.must b frm e impact to my head.i felt e pain in my wrist.it seems broken as e numbness went thru my arm,i cldnt wiggle my fingers.sat on e pavement n saw e damaged vehicles.taxi front rite crushed,vehicle left rear crushed.both drivers unhurt.suffered bruises.passing vehicle stopped n help.they asked if im alrite,still suffering frm aftershock,my mind still dazed.i tol them im ok,juz feeling giddy n i might had twisted my wrist.tol me help is on e way.

waited 15mins n TP arrived.they checked e damaged vehicles n checked on us.medics arrived on as well.we were all taken to hospital to treat our injuries.

TP left after taking our statements.e doc checked on my wrist.no broken bones,no dislocation.juz a twist n mayb teared muscles.(yes,wrist has muscles as well).thks to my quick reflexes i prevented worst injuries.e doc advise me to be put under observation for a day as e giddiness i felt must be e impact to my head.afraid tt i might be suffering frm sm concussion.suggested x-ray.if ok i wld b discharged e same day.so as i needed to stay,theres only 1 person i cld call at this hr,6.15am,my brother.he was shocked but he rushed down upon hearing i was involved in a accident.

he did e neccessary paperworks while i changed into e ugly looking clothes they provided.really ugly..i begged my bro to bring me a fresh set of clothes when he come by today.

i looked at my handphone once more,it was still on e reply screen.blanked.i forgotten wat i wanted to reply.i pressed back n into my inbox.

3.25am:"im really sorry :("

i saw a 2nd unread msg,it was sent moments before e crash

3.53am:"angry with me?"

i was dissappointed more than angry,hurt,but i noe after tonite i wld still forgive her n forget wat happened, i was nver angry with her at all.

i sat on e bed,i really needed her by my side now.but then watz e point?i didnt want her to worry at all.itz almost 8am.nt sure whether im still able to wrk at nite,still need to ask her inform e management.i keyed on e keypad telling her wat happened..tt was e last sms i sent as my phone runs low on batt.i passed my phone to my bro n ask him to bring back to charge. i needed sm peace to rest as my mind has been heavy thinkin e whole nite.i didnt wanted anyone to contact me nw.i didnt want to noe wat happened back there.all i needed nw is rest.

i lied down n stared onto e ceiling.thinking how lucky i was.if e crash was head on i wldnt be here nw.this was e 2nd time i escaped death.1st time was during army days when my amored vehicle almost overturned into a 40m deep trench..it got stuck smhw n we survived.if e sayin was true abt 3 times lucky,i already used up twice.

i almost died,but e god of death didnt want me now.

睡醒了我会忘了一切 所有的恨,痛,伤,都会忘了

"不爱,也是一种爱"

或许我需要时间去领悟它

愛的人

愛你變習慣 不再稀罕
我們該冷靜談一談
你說你喜歡 一點點浪漫
卻把跟隨我的腳步 放慢
沒有你分享分擔
我的快樂悲傷
心情天天 天天紛亂
我一再試探 你一再隱瞞
是誰改變愛情原來的模樣
有一種預感 愛就要離岸
所有回憶卻慢慢碎成片斷
不能盡歡 愛總是苦短
我只想要你最后的答案
有一種預感 想挽回太難
對你還有無可救藥的期盼
我坐立難安 望眼欲穿
我會永遠守在燈火闌珊的地方
盼不到我愛的人 我知道我願意再等
疼不了愛我的人 片刻柔情她騙不了人
我不是無情的人 卻將你傷的最深
我不忍 我不能 別再認真忘了我的人
離不開我愛的人 我知道愛须要緣份
放不下愛我的人 因為瞭解她多麼認真
為什麼最真的心 碰不到最好的人
我不問 我不能 擁在懷中直到它變冷
愛我的人對我癡心不悔 我卻為我愛的人甘心一生傷悲
在乎的人始終不對 誰對誰不必虛偽
愛我的人為我付出一切 我卻為我愛的人流淚狂亂心碎
愛與被愛同樣受罪 為什麼不懂拒絕癡情的包圍